Exploring. Appreciating. Indulging.

For my birthday present, Hal is going to help facilitate the hanging of photos on our living room wall (finally!!). I know it might not seem like a birthday present but having been met with opposition in the past to this idea, I decided to make it the sole wish for my 28th.

He’s never been a huge fan of using photos as artwork where as I love the personal touch they make. Now that he’s given in (yay, I won), I’ve been going through photographs we’ve taken during our travels or weekend adventures that represent the places and activities we’ve enjoyed the most over the past couple of years. It’s been a nice walk down memory lane and I feel very fortunate that we have these photos to look back on. The plan is to include:

Photos from our very first vacation together to San Francisco and the Pacific Coast





The redwoods in California. To be among the redwoods is to feel tranquil and content. Nature’s sanctuary from real life.





Pictures from Eastern Shore in Virginia. We’ve had crystal clear days where everything is so still. The water looks like glass, and where it meets the sky there is barely a seam for the horizon. I personally love clouds and they produce some of largest cotton puffs down there.





Hal and I just love traveling together. Exploring. Appreciating. Indulging. It’s how I’d like to live in general. Perhaps seeing these each day will inspire us to explore, appreciate and indulge a little more often.

MY Time with the NY Times

There are days when I wake up and feel out of touch with the world and its goings on. It’s usually when I haven’t read the NY Times online in a few days that I start to feel like I’ve been living under a rock (that might be a little dramatic). I usually choose an article based on its title, like choosing a book by its cover, or if I think it’s something I should be informed about like Court Delays Caning of Woman over Beer in Malaysia.

With a few minutes in the morning, here’s what I read. Whether I feel more ‘in touch’ or informed about the world, is not necessarily the case. Maybe it's the articles I chose. If only those worldly articles had catchier titles…

Edward Kennedy, Senate Stalwart, Dies
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/27/us/politics/27kennedy.html?hp
It kind of felt like due diligence reading the article about Ted Kennedy’s passing, but it’s done and while I’m not really a better or worse person for it, I feel I’ve absolved myself from watching a single second about this on the news.

Good Tips at the End of his Meals
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/26/dining/reviews/26rest.html?8dpc
Frank Bruni’s article on eating out. He’s a food critic, aren’t they all about that? He answers common questions on where to go and how to make the most of your dining experience (this is not really for the budget conscious). But I did find his answer to the question: Is there any best, safest way to navigate a menu? to be helpful.

Stung by the Perfect Sting
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/26/opinion/26dowd.html
Maureen Dowd comments on a recent story about a model who’s being “attacked” by a blogger. The overarching issue essentially boils down to blogging rights, or more commonly, the First Amendment. But let’s be honest; this is really about jealous, vapid people who have too much time on their hands so they use the Internet for cyber bullying. These are adults mind you, not a group of prepubescent mean girls. Actually, this is what the prepubescent mean girls grow up to be…scary.

Guilt and Atonement on the Path to Adulthood
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/25/science/25tier.html?em
An eye-catching (and relative) title to say the least. The article attempts to explain how to create the perfect level of guilt within your child so that he or she does not experience behavioral problems and evolves to be relatively well-adjusted. The equation, Guilt = Well-adjusted just doesn’t seem to make sense. Guilt + Therapy = Well-adjusted is more like it.

Who’s Driving Twitter’s Popularity? Not Teens
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/26/technology/internet/26twitter.html?hp
It isn’t me either since conceptually I understand what Twitter is, but I still don’t understand why on a personal level you’d want hordes of people to know how you like your eggs, what temperature the shower water was and what color tights the tween sitting across from you was wearing on the train. And why do these hordes of people (followers) care? Apparently, it’s the adult thing to do.


Side note: It’s 13 months or 396 days until our wedding! Wootie woot!

Kitschy, Vintage, Southern Charm…and lots of cupcakes

The Internet is truly the window to the wedding world, not that I am surprised but I am a bit overwhelmed (and sometimes underwhelmed) by all the ‘ideas’ flooding my browser.

The blogs filled with inspiration boards seem almost pretentious at times, maybe because most of them are inspired by Martha Stewart who epitomizes pretention (and admittedly, perfection). All of these lovely images – purposeful wild flowers, feathery dresses, brightly colored shoes, elaborate table scapes with a down-home swagger, wire lanterns and rattan fans, freshly squeezed lemonade – they all present this image of how a wedding could/should be. Gingham, stripes, damask, or butterflies (everywhere!), it’s all to set the stage. What’s trendy? Candy and cookie bars, photo booths and cupcakes with delicate frosting and glittering flecks dusted all over them. I swear these cupcakes are taking over the pastry industry.

I’m noticing some weddings are over-the-top stylized. Maybe it’s just the ones that are blog-worthy, but it seems as if every inch of wedding space must have flair that reflects the couple's “personality”. I can appreciate detail but I’m just not sure I want kitschy to be the adjective du jour when guests describe our wedding day. It’s like the ‘theme’ owns the wedding, not the couple. It’s all so contrived at times. And it never looks effortless despite what the bloggers say. There is this level of attention and intention that astounds me.

When was it decided that oversized flowers or extreme netting was a good choice as a hair piece? I’m still debating whether the subtly of a veil might be too much.

And then there is the DIY of weddingness (when ‘kitschy’ is the backdrop to the wedding-speak, you’re allowed to make up words). I’ve always considered myself artsy, not just crafty, and creative. But what I’m apparently lacking in dedication and motivation, some of these DIYers have it ten fold, to the extreme that it begs the question, do you have a job? And if so, do you ever go to it since you clearly have copious amounts of time to jar your own homemade jam for the guests and make flowers out of tissue paper and buttons for you and your bridesmaids to wear in your hair.

I know I’m sounding a little snarky about these never-ending ‘ideas’ but the worst part is, I’m intrigued by all of it. It’s like the people who are devout Vogue magazine readers. It’s pages upon pages of advertisements, and yet you just can’t stop perusing every new issue.

I know I’ll continue to straddle the line of sheer adoration and anti-kitsch cynicism for all that is wedding-inspired, but my hope is truly that our wedding will reflect Hal and me, whatever that shows itself as in the end.

But don’t hate me if my wedding ends up looking like a tub of butter cream icing was spread all over it with colorful sprinkles perfectly scattered on top.

Virginia in 24 hours or less

It turned out to be less. It wasn’t exactly a whirlwind trip since I don’t think much ever whirls down in VA but it went by in a blur, and I felt a bit dazed for most of it. Maybe it was the hot air. We were ultimately headed toward the town of Painter, an area where the most crowded parking lots are next to the local churches and there are more farm stands than grocery stores.

Despite it being a blur, there were some things of note that I retained in my tired brain.

Sunday night (at 1am) we stayed at a motel in Maryland where the air with thick with this pungent stank. Hal’s dad credited a nearby poultry factory, claiming it was the stench of chicken guts. It was suffocating. Fortunately, it didn’t permeate the actual rooms.

The main purpose of this road trip was so Hal’s dad could renew his driver’s license. The DMV was busy with all six of us there. And there was laughter. We never get laughter at the NY DMV.

There were lots of fields of soy beans and corn stalks but sparse sign of life otherwise.

Desperate times apparently do call for desperate measures as the area has been hit with numerous robberies at the local post offices. Post offices? This became a topic of ongoing curiosity during the rest of the car ride.

There were times when we had limited radio reception which meant limited music options. And yet, we were able to listen to Rush Limbaugh pontificate on Obama’s health care plan as if it was the second coming. When I threatened to throw myself from the car if we continued to listen to this jabbering, Hal quickly turned the dial.

My allergies and New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland and Virginia don’t mix. I guess I can’t live south of the NY border.

My favorite line from the trip came at the very beginning of our expedition.
Hal’s dad to me: We have to make sure you have your seatbelt. We don’t want to lose you, Jenn. It took Hal a long time to find you.

My favorite moment from the trip came at the end of our expedition.
We were on the last stretch of the trip coming home, driving along the Palisades Parkway when we passed the Stateline Overlook where Hal proposed. Seated in the backseat, I knew it was coming up so I pressed my face against the window, eager to relive the memory of that day in my mind. As we drove by, Hal reached back and squeezed my leg and then my hand, specifically touching the band of my engagement ring. I’m glad we relived it together.

Sometimes it’s nice to road-trip-it and get a change of scenery. But one taken in less than 24 hours, is a little too much road and not enough scenery. It’s good to be back home.

The best fiancee ever, Part 2

I walked into my office on Tuesday and found these waiting for me.

With a card…
Because You’re Wonderful
And I Love You With
All My Heart.
I Look Forward To Spending The
Rest Of My Life With You.

I couldn’t believe Hal sent me ‘just because’ flowers. Not only was it such a sweet surprise, but the arrangement is absolutely gorgeous. I just love all the different textures of the flowers and the seashells lining the bottom of the glass vase. I couldn’t thank him enough!

The next day while running errands, Hal was acting like his usual self, making smart (ass) comments left and right. I finally turned to him and said half jokingly, half exasperated, “Do you know what I have to put up with?”

Looking at me quite seriously, he promptly responded, “Yes, yes I do. Why do you think I send you flowers for no reason? Sometimes I wake up in the morning and realize just how much you have to put up with and then you get flowers just because.”

Flowers or no flowers, he's worth 'putting up with'!

My fiancee is the best, Part One

I love Hal for many many reasons but one of the things I’ve come to appreciate is his handyman skills. Since a large chunk of our kitchen ceiling fell down, we’ve been staring at the lovely floorboards of our attic willing that nothing else falls through the cracks (like small animals). While most people might go straight for the phone for a fix-it person, I live with one so it’s pretty convenient.

Shouldn’t this be our landlord’s responsibility, many have asked. Between the obscenely low rent and Hal’s eagerness to use tools and stand on ladders, it was going to be a DIY project. And of course in prepping for this project, (low) cost trumped convenience. So Hal went and bought the sheet rock mix, the drop cloth, a big bucket to mix the mix and spatulas. He could’ve just purchased sheet rock board, already made and solid that they cut to size, and nailed it up to our remaining ceiling. But it was an afterthought and more money, and apparently returning the mix was just not an option (for some crazy reason).

So yesterday evening around 6 something, I sat on the kitchen floor, arm deep in the bucket, swirling the mix into the water as Hal slowly added the dusty sheet rock like flour to cake batter. We make a good team insofar as my limited sidekick skills go. He then proceeded to attempt to spackle our ceiling, as the sheet rock mix struggled at first to stick up there, giving into gravity more often than not. After finally perfecting the mix to water ratio and his technique, Hal was quite successful at filling in the gap. Forget the fact that the cat got hit with the mix as she tried to outrun the falling globs of it (obviously, she needs to work on her running skills), or that the drop cloth looked like an ostrich had pooped all of it. The work was eventually complete (around 9:30) and victory was Hal’s.

I give him a lot of props. He managed to get the job done, give it the patience it required, thank me for “helping”, and still throw a smile my way.

Of course now he’s convinced we could buy a fixer-upper and do all of the home repairs ourselves. That’s up for debate.

What did I accomplish while he was icing our ceiling? I worked on dinner, as it was pork fajita Wednesday. He can repair ceilings and I apparently am capable of squirting jalapeno juice in my face, causing a slow and painful burn to spread across my forehead and down my nose. I had to take my contact lenses out with fingers covered in seran wrap for fear the jalapeno would get in my eyes. Ever the supportive sidekick though, I did watch Hal complete the job while holding an icepack to my head. Under the glow of the kitchen light, Hal gave me sympathetic looks every once in a while with an “aw, babe, why do you do these things to yourself?” We all have our talents...and that’s why I love him.

What's Mine is Yours?

In aisle 10 of the supermarket, a debate ensues...

Jenn: I want to get granola.

Weight Watchers calculator in hand, Hal is busy adding up the points.

Hal: But granola has a lot of fat and a lot of carbs.

Jenn: But I like it on yogurt.

Hal: Then get it. All I’m saying is it’s really not that healthy for you.

Thanks to the newest member of the Weight Watchers Gestapo, I put it back on the shelf and stare at it longingly. I return to the cart empty-handed.

Hal: You’re not getting it?

Jenn: No, not if you’re going to make it out to be so unhealthy.

Hal: It’s fiiine. Get it, it’ll make you happy.

Jenn: True. And I don’t add that much to the yogurt.

Granola is placed in the cart and we forge ahead in search of yogurt. I find a big tub of it, happy to see it’s strawberry flavored.

Hal: That looks good!

Jenn: It does. And it will go perfectly with my granola.

Hal: Yeah, and I can have it for dessert.

Jenn: You’ll have what for dessert?

Hal: The granola and yogurt.

Jenn: You always end up eating my stuff.

Hal: You’re only realizing that now?

Jenn: I know, it’s because I have such good taste.

Hal: Yeah, you’re with me, aren't you.

Oh brother.

Follow Up to Subpar top 10 list from August 6th

Regarding Number 5: I found three typos in a Times article the other day. At least use spell check, people.

Regarding Number 6: I have received confirmation that Mercedes drivers are the worst. Sorry to all those who drive them, but your fellow Mercedes drivers are giving you a bad rep.

Regarding Number 9: Is there a trend starting...A 75 year old woman drove two miles in the wrong direction on the Tappan Zee Bridge before cops stopped her. Rather than investing in infrastructure, it appears we should be putting a little more money towards big road signs.

Regarding Number 10: It's 90 degrees out. And humid. Summer is not coming to an end. In fact, it feels like it's just starting. Cuddling? Not so much. We've resorted to hand-holding for the most part.

Jenn is writing about FB

What people choose to post on Facebook is interesting to me, especially for their ‘status’. There are shout-outs and inside jokes like you’d find in a yearbook. There are those banal updates on the latest happenings in a person's day, which could be posted hourly.

Facebook Fan Coffee is sooo good in the morning!
6 hours ago · Comment · Like

Facebook Fan Off to work
4 hours ago · Comment · Like

Facebook Fan Bored at work
2 hours ago · Comment · Like

Facebook Fan Long day...
1 hour ago · Comment · Like

Facebook Fan Coffee is sooo good during the day!!!
45 minutes ago · Comment · Like

Facebook Fan Home finally!
6 minutes ago · Comment · Like

And then there are those sad but ambiguous posts that seem to scream for attention.

Facebook Fan It shouldn’t be like this…
2 hours ago · Comment · Like

Facebook Fan Life is full of regrets…
12 minutes ago · Comment · Like

In these situations, as the person posting one should always add the ellipses to provide a sense of forlorn. And then you’re sure to get all those Facebook friends asking you, what happened? Is everything okay? Call me.

Most seem to use their ‘status’ to showcase how fantastically social, tragic or boring their lives are. I’m certainly guilty of posting a few needless status updates that I’ve looked back and wondered, who cares what I’m doing with my Saturday afternoon? The question still remains, why did I feel compelled to post it in the first place?

Facebook is kind of like reliving high school in the virtual world. There are those that try to friend everyone, striving to be most popular and most-liked, and where quantity always trumps quality. There are others who have joined and just collect friends, hundreds of them. Do they think they’re above participating in the Facebook community? I myself am not a very active participant, more like a silent but curious observer who admittedly likes to peer into the lives of others that I normally wouldn’t interact with, or ultimately care to for that matter.

What really astounds me is how you can get a glimpse of the life of a complete stranger thanks to a few (hundred) photos posted online. I got to see the crazy shenanigans at this girl’s bachelorette party simply because a Facebook friend was tagged in her album. Personally, if I was the bachelorette I wouldn’t want my fiancée seeing these photos let alone the entire FB community. And let’s talk about these photos for a second. It appears that some people lose all sense of inhibition when posting pictures. Maybe it’s a sign of confidence and self assuredness to post photos of yourself looking like a hot mess in the middle of Times Square on a Friday night. But when it’s online, you don’t know who ultimately has access to viewing these and bottom line, you look like a fool for many to see.

The opportunity to be and to showcase whomever you want on a particular day at a particular hour is what is so appealing for many on Facebook. Today your pictures say you’re the queen of your social circle. Tomorrow your status might reveal the reality. You can pick and choose your truths, or at least the ones you want known. So if everything posted, be it status, photos, your profile, even your blog, is a choice and is done with some degree of intent, then can we really know who anyone is in this virtual community? Perhaps I’m delving too deep into the social-psychology of it all. In the end, Facebook is like sweetener sprinkled on a boring moment in the day; the perfect dose of brain candy.

A subpar top 10 list

10 things I’ve gleaned from the first 3.5 hours of my day:

1. Oversleeping sets a ‘blah’ tone to the day.

2. New things are only fun when they function correctly.

3. People hate change. It’s interesting to see how easily some people can be taken out of their comfort zone and how exasperated that makes them. Note to exasperated coworker: New equipment in the mailroom should not be cause for alarm. It has little to no effect on your life.

4. Life seems challenging at times but others have it worse all the time. See NY Times article about the violence in the Congo, currently towards men. Warning: It’s a tough dose of reality.

5. The NY Times itself is starting to read more and more like the NY Post. Cause for concern, yes.

6. I don’t think I’ll ever own a Mercedes. All the crappy Mercedes drivers have turned me off of the car forever. I know, blame the driver not the car, but manufacturers should really screen their customers. These drivers are just bad advertisements for them.

7. I'm convinced traffic can drive a person insane. And no, I'm not being melodramatic.

8. The right song on the car radio can reverse the mental side effects of crappy Mercedes drivers and traffic.

9. The accident on the Taconic Parkway was tragic, but now it's starting to read like a scandal. Why must everything private be up for public debate and discernment. The American people really don't need to know everything.

10. Summer may be coming to an end (summer? I think it was washed away with the rain) but waking up to cool mornings is a nice excuse to get cozy under the covers and cuddle. I’m glad Hal and I are on the same page with that morning routine.

Happy List filled with Happy-making things

I keep this ongoing list of the little (and big) things in life that make me happy. I can't always explain why they make me happy since some of them are quite random, but they usually provoke a sense of childlike glee or calm contentment (or both), along with a smile. It's a good list to keep since it reminds me that I can be quirky and that I can appreciate the small stuff. Reminder: this is a judgement free zone...I did mention they are random.

Peeps: Preferred moderately stale with a slight bite to them

Straws: Who doesn’t enjoy drinking out of a straw?! Colorful or white, bendy or not bendy, striped or not striped, the wider the better.

Dvorak’s New World Symphony: Somber, dramatic, sweet, soothing, inspired - gives me goose bumps every time

Newly Sharpened Pencils: The smell is delicious

Toasted Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich: Warm and gooey and comforting on the taste buds

The smell of air before it Snows: Distinctly refreshing

Storm clouds: Foreboding and promising

Hal = LOVE

Fun and pretty cupcakes: I love examining and admiring them more than I enjoy eating them

Warm crusty bread: Worth the crumbs everywhere

Baking: It stresses me out yet I love it. Does this mean I love stress?

Gerber Daisies: Happy flowers that spread the mood

Recipes and Menus: Some of the best reads ever

Office Supplies: For when I pretend to be a neat and organized. Mini binder clips - so cute!