All grown up

I feel so accomplished. For the first time ever, I did my own taxes. Equipped with a pencil, a calculator, lots of forms and a helpful fiance, I sat down in front of a roaring fire and went to it. 2 hours later and a pair of burning eyes, I was done with the hard part. I felt triumphant and it helped that Hal was my cheerleader through the process.

It only took me 28 years to put on my big girl panties and fill out my own taxes. Who knows what it will be like filing next year. I'll be married and we may have a house...and I may be the one cheering Hal on as he fills out our 2010 tax returns.

Fit for radio

Ah, morning talk on the radio. A few headlines caught my attention enough to send me searching for the news story online once I got to work.

Woman sleeps with 900 men in 9 years

Victoria Betteridge, a 28 year old British woman revealed that she has slept with 900 men in 9 years. She was quoted as saying, “Men do it all the time, so why shouldn’t women?”

I’m getting tired of this argument being used to justify any kind of behavior. Men also pee standing up but there’s a reason women shouldn’t. She’s obviously proud of her sexual history or she wouldn’t be boasting about it to the press. That’s fine, but don’t be surprised when the judgments start rolling in because there is no fair play when you let your bedroom antics hit the billboards.


Restaurant, Klee Brasserie using wife’s breast milk to make cheese

A chef at a trendy New York bistro is letting diners munch on cheese made from his wife's breast milk.

I have nothing to say to this.


Botched butt jobs

Six women in Jersey were hospitalized with infections caused by a black market butt job they received. They were injected with a cocktail of stuff including household caulk!

I could make a really bad, tasteless joke about filling cracks, but I won’t go there. Suffice it to say, one should stay away from anyone claiming they can perform plastic surgery while they're wearing a tool belt and using a work bench in their garage as an operating table.

An Oscar Haiku

I was surprised but not crushed when I realized Sunday morning that ABC had indeed "gone dark". Gone dark - sounds like it was some rogue mission to the save the world when in fact it was just two greedy companies who were having a spat in the sand box. I didn't realize that channel 7 came back 15 minutes after the Oscars started until well after 10:30pm, which is when I started watching them. And it still took 45 minutes before they announced any winners that I remotely cared about. I have to admit, I was more interested in seeing Avatar lose than finding out who won. And since I put almost every acceptance speech on mute, ignored the 20 minute presentations for announcing any winner of any category, I thought it best to be brief, an approach the Oscars will never attempt.

My 17-syllable summary of the Oscars.

JLo’s dress. Um. What?
Nobody likes blue people
Sandra made me tear

I could tell you, but then I'd have to...

So I've been purposefully remiss in sharing my latest form of distraction even though I've declared this blog a 'no judgment' zone. Sure I'm swamped at work and the wedding to-do list won't get itself done, but amidst the growing number of stuff to accomplish over the next few weeks, I've managed to find one more thing to occupy my time: Mafia Wars on Facebook. I don't consider myself an invested participant since I'm not willing to "friend" complete strangers to grow my Mafia, unlike a certain fiance who got me hooked on this game. I don't "fight" people because I usually lose and have no defenses. I basically do jobs and earn millions of mafia dollars by owning property - I wish it was that easy. When you master jobs you go up a level, which is supposed to be gratifying, and I have to admit, it is kinda. And it's a new activity that Hal and I can bond over.

When I first started, Hal walked me through the lay of the land. He showed me where I can go to buy property, do jobs and where to find my inventory of stuff. You know, the must-haves of the mafia: crowbars, various pistols, a hacksaw. Nothing was especially challenging about any of it, but it was all very new to me having never played anything like this, until I went to the inventory page.

Hal: This is where you can see all the weapons you own and how many you have. It's all listed on the side.

This looks familiar!

Jenn: Ooo, it's like a wedding registry!!

Hal: (rolling his eyes) Yes, yes it's exactly like that.

Jenn: This is gonna be fun.

Hal: Oh brother...

My inventory

You just can't register for a good crowbar at Crate and Barrel. Add a couple of place settings and a pizza stone, and we are set!