28 Candles

What my 28th birthday means to me:

• 365 days went by very fast


• It’s an excuse to eat whatever I want. Chocolate chip cookies for breakfast? Why yes, thank you.


• I’m 12 years away from 40 (but I won’t dwell on that)


• In 361 days, I’ll be getting married!!


• It’s a day when you hear from friends, family and acquaintances that you haven’t spoken to in hours, days, months and perhaps years. They may be two simple words, “Happy Birthday”, but they are awfully nice to hear.

This morning, I was greeted with a big, warm hug from the fiancée.

Hal: Happy Birthday, babe.

Jenn: Aw, thanks. You’re the best birthday gift.

Hal: I thought I was the best Christmas gift?

Jenn: That’s okay, you can regift yourself.

Little things that bring Big cheer

These plants look happy regardless of the setting.

Whether on their way home

Or comfortably nestled in place

They just make us feel so cheery.

And I'm entertained by my shadow...

‘Jenny’ & Hal Appleseed

Yesterday Hal and I took a break from life, some might say, to take part in a time honored fall activity – apple picking. We went last year toward the end of the season when the trees were over picked and the selection scarce. That made it all the more challenging (and fun) for Hal who was armed with one of those picking poles, which he became rather adept at using.

This year being that it’s still early enough in the season, we were greeted with rows of apple-laden trees.

There’s something about picking apples that just brings out the kid in me. It’s the memories of doing it as a child, climbing the trees, being surrounded by an endless supply to snack on, and getting to chuck your apple core onto the ground as if you’re giving it back to nature. I just get so excited.

Even though many of the apples were in arm’s reach, we got the picking pole anyway since I think it played an elemental role in Hal’s level of enjoyment during last year’s outing.

And rather than having to point at the choice apples high in the trees, I was able to actually pick them myself this year. Both of us were able to share in the apple picking fun, while he aimed for the high ones and I stuck to the low ones.

Half a bushel of apples later (that’s a lot!), and we have more than our share of Golden Delicious and Macintosh. Plenty to make the apple cherry crisp we devoured last year. There is that saying about 'an apple a day'. So what if it's covered in sugary juices and surrounded by a flaky pie crust and crumbly topping...and accompanied by a scoop of vanilla ice cream. You only live once!

I didn't need to break the glass after all

Nearly a week later, having spent numerous hours together, seeking to absorb as much love and support as we can possibly give and take from each other, he’s finally opened the door and I’m in the store watching passersby while we clasp hands and sway to the heartbeat of life.

Metaphors and glass

It has been a long day. One that I actually felt detached from in many ways. It was followed by a longer evening which felt like a void more than anything else. I'm tired. Perhaps that's why these thoughts and words came to me as if I was transported to a land of metaphor, where sensitivity is heightened and stream of consciousness takes over. It reads like something I would've written as a teenager. I guess feelings really don't evolve too much over time - just the events that provoke them.

I feel like I’m looking through a store window from the outside. I can kind of make out what’s happening inside and I want to go in but the sign on the door says closed. I tap gently on the window. No reaction. I tap a little harder and he looks up, then looks away. I can almost hear what they’re saying if I press my ear right against the glass, almost straining my ear drums to catch a word, a mumble, a whisper, anything. He approaches the window and stands in front of me. I can see him so clearly it’s as if I should be able to reach through and touch him. He tells me in so many words that everything is okay. The glass suddenly feels very thick between us. I ask to come inside but he tells me that they’re closed. The window is getting fogged up. Perhaps I’m breathing too hard. He starts to walk away. I pound on the glass hoping now to shatter it, creating a portal for me to enter and join them. But the glass doesn’t even crack.

Ask Hal

I really think Hal needs to start an “Ask Hal” column. He’s surprisingly good at dispelling relationship advice. Prior to meeting me, he had done the online dating thing off and on for a while so he’s fairly seasoned at it. For both of us, the bar scene was never really our style so I’m sure there is a whole set of rules that would apply to just that scenario, but Hal’s got a good take on general dating tips.

After sharing notes last night, here are some dos and don’t we came up with for online daters, or daters in general. They aren't new and they seem like common sense, but how often does rationality really play a role in dating and the trials of love?

To Do and To Don't Do

1. Listen to your “creepo” instincts. If you’re sensing that he’s beyond quirky and may have sociopathic tendencies (or your gut is just telling you he’s a bit too strange) then listen to yourself and take a pass on that one.

2. Call. At some point the communication should transition from strictly online or electronic (ie text messaging) to an actual phone conversation. So that way when he turns out to have a more feminine voice than his ultra masculine look has you assuming, you can stifle your reaction when you meet in person.

3. You don’t need to write a novel every time you email. There’s nothing wrong with brevity because it can keep the other person intrigued to learn more. But complete sentences and complete thoughts count, and earn you points in an age of email and text-speak.

4. For guys (and ladies) online dating is all about numbers. The more women you contact, the better the chances that someone will respond. Don’t get fixated on one person since s/he may never contact you in return and you’ve wasted potential time.

5. Don’t judge a book by his/her profile pic. Some people are just not photogenic or hate having their picture taken, so no matter what it comes out looking like a mug shot. Better to have them better-looking in person than in their photo. And remember, a fantastic personality can heighten physical attractiveness beyond what Photoshop is capable of.

6. Don’t overanalyze the profile. It’s just supposed to lay the groundwork, not be the basis for your entire (potential) relationship.

7. Post more than one picture, as long as the others aren’t of you drunk or with an ex. And guys, whether she’s an ex or not, stop posting pictures with you cozying up to other women. We’re not sure what to make of those photos so it’s just easier for us to assume the worst and move on.

8. After the first date if you want to see the person again, make a “plan” for the next date even if it’s just saying “I’ll give you a call tomorrow and we can talk about getting together again.” Providing a definitive time line gives you both something to look forward to. But that means you have to FOLLOW THROUGH. That can’t be repeated enough. Sigh…

9. Seems obvious and common sense but the first meeting should be in a public place. Just because you’ve read the profile and spoke on the phone does not mean you KNOW the person. Ladies, why would you want him to know where you live? You might as well meet in a dark alley and take your chances there.

10. And finally. Don’t become too attached to that portfolio of ‘must haves’ you’ve created. It’s perfectly fine to want the other person to have certain traits that are important to you but don’t be married to them. Basically, keep an open mind. Hopefully, you’ll end up married to a great person rather than just your ideals.

If you need dating insight or want the guy’s take, Hal’s the one to ask. But he’ll be direct and honest. He’ll be the first to tell you, “he’s just not that into you.” but he managed to snag a pretty great gal so he must be doing something right.

The couple that Bowflex’s together…

The other night Hal and I tried out the Bowflex (a week after it had been assembled, whatever) for the first time. I ran on the elliptical while Hal maneuvered through a routine on our new “home gym”. The elliptical and Bowflex share a space and I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed watching my fiancée pump iron. I definitely had a, “why, hello there” moment.

And then it was my turn. Giddyyup. Not so much.

If you’ve ever seen a Bowflex up close and personal you can’t help but notice the complex system of pulleys and chords everywhere, along with the bows that make up the different weights. I’m still amazed Hal put this together himself.

So when Hal told me to go at it and start doing the routine, I just stared at the machine willing it to do the work for me. It’s not overly complicated (unless you let it be) once you figure out what to attach to this and that pulley to be able to perform the desired exercises. I have to admit, I was being a bit of a brat about wanting Hal to put everything in place for me (so much for pumping up to be a strong, independent woman) and was actually pleased when he forced me to figure out how to use this thing under his direction.

Having your significant other watch you strain muscles while breaking into a sweat is not so enjoyable, especially when you’re hyper aware of your legs sticking to the vinyl of the workout bench. There’s just nothing attractive (or graceful) about peeling yourself off of a piece of equipment. Hal didn’t seem to mind, as he counted my reps, watched my form and critiqued my arm extension. Apparently, I’m not just gaining a husband but a trainer as well. With the routine done, I felt good (and sore) but on the fence about whether this Bowflex purchase was really a good idea in the end.

The next morning as I was getting my goodbye hug, Hal referred to me as “my little fiancée with the Bowflex body”. Not even close, but the sentiment was sweet and brightened my outlook on the day. I came to the resolve that this new addition, which requires 9 feet of usable work out room, may not be a waste of space after all. Bowflex = healthy body, and it appears it may also further a healthy relationship. But next time, I’m wearing sweats; that vinyl is a killer.

Renaissance Flaire

My first time to the Renaissance Faire was last year, and it was an experience to say the least. More beer than I could handle, lots of pickles, sausage on a stick (I’m sensing a theme here) and funnel cake (Mmm). All of which seceded from the homeland of my stomach hours later. In addition to the food, as I expected all the Faire people were in costume and dutifully such in character, but I did not realize how “festive” faire-goers get as well. Wow. And this year was no different. There was flair everywhere.

As Hal so rightly put it, for adults this is the perfect opportunity to play pretend. I guess that makes sense…Although I did note to him that some of the faire-goers’ costumes (every day clothing?) was so elaborate that they begged the question, is this the only time you whip out that outfit? Hal suggested they could be LARPers (Live Action Role Playing players), which makes all too much sense. I could picture a number of these people wielding cardboard swords and shields as they flail about in some wooded area. Kids dressed up as little fairies or pirates – adorable! Men decked out in head-to-toe knight armor that they made in their basements – creative but a tad weird. And don’t get me started on all the women (too young and too old) in bustiers. Thy cups runneth over, and over…

Perhaps one of the highlights for me was during the living chess match in which one the chess pieces removed his shirt. Why? Who cares! All I have to say is Huzzah to the half naked man! During that same match, Hal got to see two beer wenches wrestle with mud so I figured we were evenly entertained.

The Ren Faire does undoubtedly transport you to a different place that at times is charming and mystical. Perhaps it’s the troubadours and the Elizabethan accents (kind of), or the hand blown glass and wooden pipe music streaming from everywhere. I’d come back again. If only for the steak on a stick – delicious!!

Huzzah!


Wedding update:
We have a wedding photographer – Yaaaaay!!

His name is Dante Williams of Dante Williams Photography. Check out his work at http://www.dantewilliams.com/ or his blog at http://www.dantewilliamsphotography.blogspot.com/. Hal and I love that he captures moments beautifully, and shouldn’t weddings be all about that!

Rascal's reminder

My cat, Rascal, reminded me last night that when life throws you a challenge...

turn to Plan B

And I had to include a picture from the very first day Rascal entered our lives.

Assembly required...twice

Scene: Hal and I are putting together the Bowflex Monday night.

Instructions in hand, we attempt to put the first two pieces together.

Jenn: It says to make sure the felanges are around the bushings. Do you know what that means? Are these the bushings?

I point to something that is definitely not a bushing, judging by the look on Hal’s face.

Hal: Nope, the bushing is something that you insert into the hole so that when you put the bolt through it, it keeps it tight and the bolt rotates but doesn’t rattle around as it’s moving.

Makes sense, and I’m learning new things.

Jenn: So where are the bushings that they’re talking about here?

Hal: I don’t know…

And with that, we continued to attach the base to the main structure of the machine.

To Hal’s credit, he managed to put together 90% of the rest of the Bowflex solo as I slept on the couch, providing moral support (I swear).


Next day…the Bowflex is now near completion.

Hal: I’m going to need your help with something on the Bowflex.

Jenn: Okay.

Hal: We need to put the bushings into the holes of the base.

Jenn: Wait, didn’t I mention the bushings yesterday? Haven’t we had a conversation just like this?

Hal looking defeated and a little frustrated.

Hal: Yes, you’re right and I’m completely wrong.

A bit dramatic but we’ll let it slide for the sake of getting this finished already.

Jenn: What do we need to do?

By which I mean, what will be required of me?

Hal: Take the bolts out, insert the bushings then put the bolts back in.

Sounds simple but it came down to completely undoing everything that had been done yesterday with the base. It was kind of ironic that that one of the final steps to assembling the Bowflex involved the first piece we put together. But it got done, and we both looked a bit triumphant since this task was none to easy.

Hal: See, now you can tell people you put together a Bowflex.

Yes, I’ll add it to my resume right next to, can take a shower in under three minutes. Instead of rolling my eyes, I put on my big girl panties and just smiled.

Hal: Next time, I’ll listen to you. And then we won’t have to go through all this.

Aw, I didn’t even have to say I told you so…wait, next time?

Jingle Bells...

It has been like Christmas come early in our house. I have no idea why we’re on a purchasing kick right now but this means that packages have been showing up left and right at the house, making me realize that this is why the Internet was invented.

The ‘shopping spree’ began with the telescope. It’s not your everyday one that you most likely had as a kid – long, gray, sits on a tripod and gives you a slightly better view of the moon than the naked eye. Nope, this one is the astronomy enthusiast’s special. It’s the Celestron NexStar 8 SE (I like to say the name almost breathlessly as Hal rolls his eyes). It has a number of very cool features, none of which I really comprehend. But I do like that it comes with a remote control! Plus, I have to admit it provides an awesome (and blinding) view of the moon and all its craters. I’m fairly certain this new toy of Hal’s will provide endless hours of star gazing, which sounds heavenly (but not in 30 degree weather).



Then the Bowflex arrived. Hal and I are getting pumped up (do people say that anymore?). We’re getting fit and toned and jacked and ripped and all those fitness buzz words that inspire you to have a well-defined butt. I want the ‘guns’ and he wants the six pack. Ultimately, I’ll just be happy that we use the damn thing and that it doesn’t become the most expensive clothing rack ever. Oh, and since he bought it from some company on ebay this rather large, extensive contraption came disassembled in 8 different boxes, and there was a lovely tear right through the instructions. That was last night’s project…hopefully it will look like this once it’s completed. HOPEFULLY.



And the deliveries just kept on coming. Our all-in-one printer extraordinaire (cue the oohs, and the ahhs) which is still in its box. Great. Skirts for me that don’t fit properly. Sad times. New books. Yay. And something from a software company which contains something I probably could care less about. Here, Hal.

The good thing to come out of all of this (because spending money on just stuff is usually not a good thing, gratifying – yes, definitely) is that Hal and I discussed the big ticket items like the telescope and Bowflex before whipping out the credit card. As he puts it, “It’s our money buying our stuff, so it should be our decision”. Good to know he won’t be racking up debt once we’re married, at least not behind my back. Making joint purchasing decisions will be one of many things that we do collectively, and I’m looking forward to being Team Jenn and Hal.

In this case, however, I think our decision to purchase our Bowflex, was Hal's way of ensuring we take joint responsibility for our failure to make the most out of it…