King of Pop

Of course the hot topic has been the passing of Michael Jackson. It was shocking to say the least and yes, I was saddened to hear that the entertainment icon was deceased. Generally, over the course of my existence (27 years), I’ve loved his music. I remember listening to my dad’s Thriller record as a kid, especially every Halloween since it was so apropos. I have loved his videos (Smooth Criminal is still my favorite) and to this day I believe he produced one of the best pop songs ever (Billy Jean). I always wished I could dance like him, and that the sidewalks would spontaneously light up one day like they did in the Billy Jean video.

It's interesting to watch the 'news' to see how his life in retrospect is being covered. I use the word 'news' lightly since it's hard to take CNN seriously when their "In the Situation Room" segment consists of two lawyers and a celebrity pundit discussing Jackson's alleged will. If "In the Situation Room" was intended to be modeled after issues discussed in the White House's own situation room, then I'm fairly certain they missed the mark since a celebrity's will and testament is likely not on the agenda for Obama and his Secretary of Defense.

I digress. The news, the fans, and the fellow celebrities have called him genius. Some have called him tragic. For every high note Jackson hit, there seemed to be an equally low and controversial one, and all of this is being played back for us like a record on repeat. Everyone agrees he was incredibly talented but his life was flawed with personal issues that often played themselves out in the public sphere.

I have to admit that while I haven't subjected myself to this constant news reel (in fact I've made efforts to avoid it) it has all made me take pause and think about my own mortality. How will I be remembered, and how do I want to be remembered? I don't think I'll be remembered as an icon in any industry nor will I have the buzz of scandal keeping my memory alive. There won't be biopics done on me or roundtable discussions disecting my every move through life. I'd like my memory to be much more subdued and simple than that. I don't feel like my life has to be spotlight-worthy. I just hope that if I can approach each day now with a smile (even if it's a small one or tired one) and laughter from the heart that the contentment reaped will be palpable and remembered. I never want my family and friends to doubt the love I have for them or to question just how much I embraced life. It's because of my family and friends that I can give life a big hug every day that I'm on this crazy and wonderful ride. I can only hope that for everyone, even if you're just an icon in your own world.

Giant Steps

Today, Hal and I went on an adventure!

It’s no surprise, especially to me, that I’m not exactly an outdoorsy girl. But since meeting Hal, I’ve spent more time exploring the outdoors than the first 25 years of my life. I’ve really enjoyed it since we’ve walked actual trails and hikes, not just nature walks, which I don’t mind either. Our top 3 most memorable hikes have been:

-Trek through Hook Mountain from Nyack to Haverstraw (10 miles that felt like 20)
-Trek to Pine Meadow Lake in Harriman Park (about 5 miles)
-Trek through the Palisades Park along the Thousand Steps and Giant Steps (no idea of the miles walked, but turned legs to jelly by the end)

It has been the most recent hike through the Palisades Park that has left the most lasting impression, along with a couple of bruises. The Palisades Park runs along the Hudson River, spanning from New Jersey into New York and consists of a number of trails and overlooks. It was actually at one of those overlooks where Hal proposed to me with a view of the city and the GW Bridge as a backdrop. Very romantic and very us.

So today, we decided to make the most of the day by going back to the Palisades and walking some of the trails we had yet to explore. We started at one of the overlooks that had a gorgeous view with a straight drop, hundreds of feet to rocks and water below. We then took the “aqua trail” towards the Women’s Federation Monument. I admittedly complained about the gooey mud that we encountered along our path, but little did I know that a little wet dirt was going to be tame compared to what was awaiting us.

Eventually, our path led us to a steady, somewhat steep decline down to the water, which we later found out was called the Thousand Steps (a most suitable name). Having reached the water at the base of the cliffs, we eventually stumbled upon the sign warning us that the next stretch, the Giant Steps as they’re called, was for highly experienced hikers and that proper gear was essential (to surviving it painlessly). After some debate, Hal and I decided to proceed forward into the unknown rather than back track up the steps which were multiplying in our minds as we considered that climb. So we trekked forth encountering a very challenging terrain that had me crawling, climbing and at times sliding across this lengthy rock scramble.

As we continued on what eventually became a 5 hour trek, we encountered more rock, high tide and flooded trails, steps ascending hundreds of feet up, and nature’s reward – a beautiful waterfall. When we finally reached the end, I never felt more triumphant. Hal and I had victorious smiles on our faces. I learned just how far I could stretch my will to achieve a challenge. And I learned just how incredibly supportive and patient Hal can be. We were in this together and it was a tremendous bonding experience for us. So if you’re looking to test your determination while bonding with a friend or loved one, I highly recommend you do it in mother nature, and perhaps the Palisades Park if you're feeling especially ambitious. This hike is not for everyone, but you may pleasantly surprise yourself when you find out it is for you after all.

Ms Domesticated

There are moments where I find myself becoming frighteningly domesticated and not necessarily relishing in the realization. Last night I made fresh “European’ bread (in the bread maker albeit), baked banana bread from scratch (I heart carbs) and cooked a pot of black bean soup, to go with the bread maker bread (black beans and banana bread, not so much). This process began prior to Hal getting home and lasted well into the evening since our European bread alone took a couple of hours to bake. All the while Hal is sitting in his boxers and undershirt bumming around on his computer looking at stuff I usually show a modest interest in, when he really wants me to. Perhaps it was best that I was preoccupied in the kitchen.

I didn’t don an apron but as I was mashing bananas, measuring flour and eventually chopping onions and garlic for the soup, I felt the tugging of a symbolic apron around my waist. I saw my future flash before me except instead of being solo at the stove, I had 3 kids, two cats and a dog vying for my attention as I attempt to play referee and chef while ‘dad’ is relaxing from a long day at work. Oh, and did I mention that in this scenario, current and future, I am not holding down the sole job of housewife or stay-at-home mom. I have a full-time job, and will continue to for an indeterminable time period. But I'm not going to complain about that.

Actually, a random day off a few months ago taught me that I’m not ready to give up the interaction and the experience of the professional world for quality time with the cats. Plus we’re not in a position to trade in one income so I can be barefoot and pregnant (this is such a clichéd image that is just so unattractive when you think about it). While I don’t always embrace my job, I do continue to embrace the idea of working and having a career, even if it blooms slowly.

Back to last night. Having worked a full day as well, I could’ve used some down time too. I mumbled this to myself while draining the beans. And then I realized that despite my fit over domesticity, I love to cook. It ultimately brings me joy and contentment and a sense of accomplishment, especially when the food comes out delicious. It is my down time. I was too quick to forget that while wondering what my absentee fiancée was up to and I was ‘stuck’ making us dinner. I also remembered (while sprinkling the fresh cilantro into the pot) that while I do most of the cooking and Hal does most of the eating, he’s completely capable of making us a meal as evidenced by the fact that he has. More importantly, I’m not the only domestic diva in the household. He’s the one who does all the vacuuming (thank god!) and changes the kitty litter (yes!). If I’m going to be domesticated, I’m glad and lucky it’s with someone who’s equally interested in making a home-sweet-home for ourselves. I guess it isn’t that bad, especially having devoured the bread and the soup. But I won’t wear an apron!

A Foot Lullaby

When Hal was little, his parents would rub his feet before he went to sleep. To this day, if someone is rubbing his footsies he’s bound to fall asleep, which ultimately means I get to give him foot massages any time I want. Don’t be jealous now. It has the same effect as someone rubbing my back or brushing my hair, which I occasionally can get Hal to do once he gets over the whole, “this is girly” stigma. Sometimes I even catch him rubbing his feet together while he’s sleeping, or rubbing mine. It’s funny how a simple gesture can give us so much contentment. Now if only I could contort my body so I could rub my own back while in a slumber. I’d be the most peaceful sleeper.

Best thing about today...

Arriving to the office to find the prettiest little bouquet of flowers waiting for me. The best “good morning” ever. And they’re from my hunny who had the sweetest words to accompany them. 'Just-because' flowers are the best.