Ms Domesticated

There are moments where I find myself becoming frighteningly domesticated and not necessarily relishing in the realization. Last night I made fresh “European’ bread (in the bread maker albeit), baked banana bread from scratch (I heart carbs) and cooked a pot of black bean soup, to go with the bread maker bread (black beans and banana bread, not so much). This process began prior to Hal getting home and lasted well into the evening since our European bread alone took a couple of hours to bake. All the while Hal is sitting in his boxers and undershirt bumming around on his computer looking at stuff I usually show a modest interest in, when he really wants me to. Perhaps it was best that I was preoccupied in the kitchen.

I didn’t don an apron but as I was mashing bananas, measuring flour and eventually chopping onions and garlic for the soup, I felt the tugging of a symbolic apron around my waist. I saw my future flash before me except instead of being solo at the stove, I had 3 kids, two cats and a dog vying for my attention as I attempt to play referee and chef while ‘dad’ is relaxing from a long day at work. Oh, and did I mention that in this scenario, current and future, I am not holding down the sole job of housewife or stay-at-home mom. I have a full-time job, and will continue to for an indeterminable time period. But I'm not going to complain about that.

Actually, a random day off a few months ago taught me that I’m not ready to give up the interaction and the experience of the professional world for quality time with the cats. Plus we’re not in a position to trade in one income so I can be barefoot and pregnant (this is such a clichéd image that is just so unattractive when you think about it). While I don’t always embrace my job, I do continue to embrace the idea of working and having a career, even if it blooms slowly.

Back to last night. Having worked a full day as well, I could’ve used some down time too. I mumbled this to myself while draining the beans. And then I realized that despite my fit over domesticity, I love to cook. It ultimately brings me joy and contentment and a sense of accomplishment, especially when the food comes out delicious. It is my down time. I was too quick to forget that while wondering what my absentee fiancée was up to and I was ‘stuck’ making us dinner. I also remembered (while sprinkling the fresh cilantro into the pot) that while I do most of the cooking and Hal does most of the eating, he’s completely capable of making us a meal as evidenced by the fact that he has. More importantly, I’m not the only domestic diva in the household. He’s the one who does all the vacuuming (thank god!) and changes the kitty litter (yes!). If I’m going to be domesticated, I’m glad and lucky it’s with someone who’s equally interested in making a home-sweet-home for ourselves. I guess it isn’t that bad, especially having devoured the bread and the soup. But I won’t wear an apron!