Hair! Flow it, Show it

I went to get my hair trimmed yesterday. It needed it as the ends were getting a bit tired and worn. When I told my hair dresser I only wanted an inch cut off, she looked displeased. “Alright…” she said in a tone I found rather judgmental to be honest. It was like she was channeling my mother who always wants me to get my hair chopped off short, like a cut I had circa 1991, and my requested proverbial inch was such a disappointment.

And then the hairdresser asked me, “does Hal like it long?” as if that was the reason I’ve been keeping it this length since 2003 (four years before I even met Hal). When I said yes, because he actually does like it long, she nodded her head knowingly, that’s what I expected. I wanted to explain that Hal’s opinion really doesn’t influence what I do with my hair. The only opinion that matters is mine quite frankly, and I love it long. Please let me repeat, I love it long.

If Hal told me tomorrow that he would love to see my hair short, I would say so would my hairdresser and my mother but it’s not going to happen.

It’s funny how people will provide their opinions on everything especially when they’re unsolicited. And when you don’t agree, they get miffed. I don’t get that. Why is it people feel that their opinion of your appearance (or job, or lifestyle, or life choices) is more important than your own? As if they know better.

It makes me wonder if people, by sharing their opinions and suggestions and judgments, are really seeking validation, and even in the most innocuous, inconsequential situations. If I suddenly decided to cut my hair short, would my hairdresser feel more influential and therefore more empowered, at least at that moment because that’s what she wanted? What does it matter? Ultimately, the length and shape of my hair has no real impact on anyone else’s life but my own.

Maybe the roots (pun intended) of this issue do not run so psychologically deep at all and people are not that complicated. Maybe it’s just about being able to say, “See, I was right.”

So at the end of the trim, when she said, “Alright Jennifer, we didn’t cut much off but it does look beautiful,” I thought to myself, See, I was right.