Namaste

Like salmon, everyone says yoga is good for you. It helps strengthen your core and it’s aimed at breathing away stress from your body. The most dedicated yoga doers manage to stay fit and toned so I have to imagine it’s an effective form of exercise.

I have attempted it a couple of times, once as part of a high intensity exercise regimen and Yoga eXtreme nearly killed me. It was then that I decided I hate yoga. Hate may be too strong a word but I just can’t seem to get into it, and I choose to blame the yoga. I’ve tried to discover the appeal. I even own yoga-to-go cards so when I’m traveling I can keep up with my nonexistent routine. I don’t know where those are at present, and let’s face it lying in bed with my Kindle sounds much more appealing than holding warrior’s pose for five minutes while trying to exhale deeply.

How I feel about yoga is how Hal feels about salmon. He wants to like it. He knows he should eat it because of all the health benefits. But every time he tries it he quickly remembers just how much he loathes it. No amount of loathing, however, has kept him from trying it at least once a year.

So for 2011, I set a goal that I would try yoga. Thanks to Netflix, I took a stab at becoming one with my yoga self tonight while waiting for a foot of snow to fall. Set in an all white room, the video began with calming music and instructor with an accent that made it difficult to understand anything she said, but I made do.

The instructor first had us sit with our legs crossed and breathe. Sounds simple enough, right? Well the exercise involved pinching my nostrils shut and then letting each one go so I could inhale through the left and exhale through the right. But when your right nostril is all stuffed up, exhaling properly becomes a real challenge and results in a choking effect. Not a good start.

Then she had me lay on my back and swing my legs over my head, which is when I came to the conclusion that my legs are so short touching my toes to the floor was going to be an impossibility. I was not feeling very calm at this point, especially when I realized that there may be a leg-to-torso ratio necessary to fully engage in the yoga and I was not measuring up.

Finally I got in some position where I was supposed to resemble a crab, on my back, hips arched up, hands grabbing my ankles. I have to say, I wasn't even sure my body would let itself do this. The instructor told me to feel the blood flow down my back but that was overshadowed by the strain through my hips and thighs. And then the video stopped all of a sudden as it does with Netflix sometimes and I found myself stuck in crab pose. When it started to become painful, I detangled myself, got up and turned the video off.

When Hal asked me how it went I told him the exercises were too slow. He was apt to point out that it is yoga. I think by nature yoga is just not a good fit for me. I like something with a faster pace where I can break into a sweat and not from the stress of trying to contort my body into shapes it clearly rejects. I gave yoga another chance and now I think I’m done.

And so I bid it, Namaste.