More than just "I Do"

Is this crazy but I've already started thinking about the wedding vows. It was the fiancées idea to write our own (I think he knows what he's going to say already. How convenient...). I on the other hand am so anal about penning anything (emails, thank you notes, my Facebook status) that it'll surely take me over a year to create something that's sweet, sentimental, loving, thoughtful, expressive, all with a touch of humor (I'm trying to avoid eliciting awkward laughter however). I have two rules: No rhyming couplets about love and marriage. Nothing too cliché or maudlin.

I came across 20 questions for the bride and groom that are supposed to assist in formulating your vows. It looked like a game of MadLibs. I couldn't help but have a bit of fun with it. Responses in red should not be taken seriously unless otherwise indicated.

1. What did you think when you first saw him/her? How to use: When we met at Match.com, I knew we were both over the bar scene and desperate to find l♥ve.


2. When did you realize you were in love? The more specific you are able to be, the more touching the story. How to use: I knew I was in love when you took me to the MOMA even though you hate abstract, contemporary art. Of course, you also thought we were going to The Met. Oops.


3. What do you have now that you didn't have before you met? Focus on the heart and head, not material possessions. How to use: Before I met you, I was single. Now I am not.


4. How has your worldview changed? Life has likely gotten better since the two of you joined forces, so tell everyone about it. How to use: Because of you, I see the world through Hal-colored glasses. Who knew you could rationalize just about anything. Those glasses are optional, by the way.


5. What do you miss most when you're apart? This will probably be something mundane but powerful -- How to use: You are such a part of me that when you're gone, I miss cuddling. (I couldn't help but take that one seriously).


6. Where do you see yourselves in 10 years? 20 years? 40 years? Go deeper than Happily married in a big house. I look forward to our honeymoon, laughing and drinking wine as we cruise the Mediterranean. (not long term enough?)


7. Is there a line from a movie, song, or poem that says it all? It's okay to borrow, as long as it's not too much of a cliche (we're sorry, but You complete me is suffering from overuse). How to use: I watch you vacuum, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.


8. Do parts of the traditional vows resonate with you? Maybe you're not so sure about the obey part, but can you really go wrong with love, cherish, and...? How to use: I promise to cherish and honor your "need" to play computer games, but add a time frame and funny reference for levity: ...all the days of my life, especially when curled up on the couch with takeout, or until we have children and then you best be helping me out.


9. Can you think of a funny or touching experience that put your partner in a new light? How to use: When you stepped on my toes at a recent wedding, I saw you for the non dancer person you are. And that made me want to love you that much more for making the effort.


10. Is there a harrowing experience that strengthened your bond? This one rides tandem with #9. How to use: See #9. My toes were never the same.


11. What goals and values do you both have? Stating your common bond may just expose your inner Wordsworth. How to use: We share a love of fresh mozzarella, so together we can eat an entire ball of it in one sitting.


12. What about him/her inspires you? What do you most respect about your partner? How to use: Your ability to take a 6 hour car ride and not make a bathroom stop once has shown me how to be conservative with my liquid intake on road trips.


13. What promise can you make to codify your devotion? How to use: I promise to always cuddle with you whenever you ask. (no, this is not self-serving at all)


14. How will you change together? You know what your goals are -- think about the steps the two of you will need to take together to reach them. How to use: I look forward to (see question 6) as we __________. Honeymoons can be life-changing right?


15. What metaphor (or simile) would capture your love? Think of something that describes or defines your love: Is it strong like a castle? How to use: Our love is like a hot fudge sundae because it's always satisfying, makes me happy and I can always go for seconds. (I am talking about love, not something R-rated for all you dirty birds out there)


16. Why are you entering the bond of marriage? Think about why marrying your fiance is so special. How to use: To me, marriage is a commitment that can only be broken by legal action. With you, it's a commitment that can only be broken by legal action.


17. What will keep your marriage strong? Find the bedrock of your relationship. How to use: Even when times get tough, we will have fresh mozzarella, and dance.


18. What are you most looking forward to about married life? The wedding is just the beginning. How to use: I look forward to no longer living in sin as we embark on the path of spiritual righteousness. (I hope that didn't sound too sacrilegious)


19. What do you expect out of married life? Defining your expectations will help you make and keep promises. How to use: I know our marriage will last a while and I vow to remember your name on our 50^th anniversary.


20. What words do you associate with love? Make a list of romantic terms so you can avoid overusing love -- too many repetitions dilute its power. How to use: My devotion/adoration/ passion is CHOCOLATE! And yes, the devotion and passion is for Hal too. I can imagine living without chocolate, but I can't imagine my life without Hal.