Poor Hal

Do you ever see yourself going down that slippery slope of emotional imbalance, and as you’re watching yourself fall, all you (think) you can do is continue to grasp onto the nonsensicalness that got you there? Sometimes these moments can be drawn out and spiral into an emotional onset of tears, as you’re heaving your exhausted body across your bed, face planting into your pillow. That’s all lovely in true dramatic form, but I generally make my emotional breakdowns quick. They may come out of nowhere but as fast as the tears form, they’re wiped away and my eyes are dry. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t cause momentary anguish for Hal, who’s usually witnessing this or on the receiving end of it. Like last night…

Snuggling on our bed. What could go wrong…

Hal: You know, I’m pretty happy with you.

Aw, how sweet. Wait-

Jenn: Pretty happy? Why not very happy?

Poor Hal.

Hal: What?

Jenn: Why aren’t you very happy?

Hal stares at me, searching my face for the right answer.

Hal: I’ll be very happy when we have a house, kids…

Jenn: But your level of happiness with me should be irrespective of those things…

Hal continues to stare at me. He maintains the “I can’t believe we’re actually having this conversation right now” look.

Hal: Oh no, you’re about to have an emotional moment aren’t you?

My voice catches in my throat. It has begun.

Jenn: I want you to be very happy with me. I’m very happy with you.

Hal: I am happy with you.

My eyes start to swell with tears.

Jenn: But not very happy.

I roll away from him. Poor Hal emits a sort of nervous laughter mixed with confusion. But as he turns me around, he smiles with genuine care.

Hal: Oh babe, don’t get upset. I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me if I wasn’t happy with you and didn’t think we’d be very happy together for a long long time.

Well that makes sense. All better now.

Poor Hal.